Single dad John Taylor turned to the Oldham Parenting Team through our Family Hubs offer for help after feeling ‘really low’.
“I felt with me, I got to the point of depression and I almost lost the fight. I was giving up and I was sad all the time,” he said. My happy place was zero and I broke down in tears. I couldn’t regulate my emotions I was so sad.”
John started attending parenting workshops and getting support for his mental health to benefit himself and his young son, and he is urging more fathers to do the same.
“You can’t be closed off because life is hard,” he said. Men can be closed off because we are brought up to be hard and to not show our emotions. But to be able to go through hard times we also need that soft side. I’ve found that all those deep emotions that you bury, they leak out, and if you’re shouting it’s all the sadness from your past.”
The Family Links Nurture programme shows parents how to manage feelings and behaviour to achieve a more positive relationship with their child.
Triple P discussion groups help parents manage behaviour problems and resolve conflict. And the Youth Connect 5 course run by Calm Ahead, which provides courses and workshops for adults around mindfulness, building resilience and mental health, helps children develop strong emotional wellbeing.
John has also been helped by the charity POINT SEND, supporting parents, carers, children and young people with Special Educational Needs and Disabilities, NHS Oldham Talking Therapies, Men Behaving Dadly, a charity for dads and male carers and their children, the men’s suicide prevention charity Andy’s Man Club, Tameside, Oldham and Glossop Mind and First Choice Homes.
“You can’t be on your own,” he said. “The advice that you get and meeting other dads is invaluable and I don’t feel sad anymore. People need to be aware about the services out there. When it comes to mental health the help is there, but sadly not everyone knows until it’s too late.”
The Oldham Parenting Team is part of the 0-19 Right Start Service and there are four Parenting Officers based in each of the five districts in Oldham.
For queries about parenting support email: parentsupporthub@oldham.gov.uk